Breaking Through at 4

Breaking Through at 4

 

At little over 4 years old, I remember playing outside and coming inside to my grandma. She told me mom and dad went to the movie. Her warmth and love in her hug were reassuring and more than enough to have me quickly falling asleep.

Not knowing how much later, I found myself waking up on the couch. My eyes were still adjusting to soft darkness in the room when I realized grandma wasn’t there.

Jumping down from the couch, I called her – no answer; checked her room – she wasn’t there, another room – nobody there either. The main door to check if she is on terrace – locked.
Locked?????
Oooo, I was never locked before and I was never alone before!

Even though the first time, I was sure it was not meant to last.

Running and jumping back on the couch my eyes and nose laid up on the window to see in the backyard. Nobody there. Same soft darkness getting darker.

Turning my head from the window, I vividly remember naturally, without any resistance, going straight to the stove, opening the coal drawer, picking a good one and carrying it back on the couch.

Standing up close and determined, my hand sharply in one motion sent the coal through the lower part of the window. It made one beautiful hole.

Without any hesitation, any fear, or any thought, in “no time” I was dragging myself through that narrow hole – legs first.

Short few moments later my feet met the concrete on the backyard ground; my rear following promptly.

Landing wasn’t soft yet it was worth it – I was on the other side of the locked door and I knew where to go.

Few houses down the street were my grandma sister’s house. I happily and somewhat proudly went there to look for grandma. Needless to say, they were shocked seeing me come.

How did I get out, why didn’t I wait, and what will dad say for the broken window and the fact that what I did could hurt me. …Way too many questions.

All of it was not my problem. I found my problem in being locked and alone. At the same time, the solution found me and it was executed with a faith only a child can have.

From my parents to whole neighborhood, I heard nobody knew how I exited through such small hole without even a scratch, God forbid anything worse.

To this day I myself don’t know the answer either, yet for sure I know the strength, determination, and faith that got me thru the window hole that evening. I know the same hand got me through many similar holes later in life.

Fear did not forever leave me that night either, it showed up numerous times later and still does. What’s interesting is – there is always some kind of coal nad some kind of window to get through.

Great many of them are shared in my friend Irina Baker‘s
Fear Busters Summit
Join us for #FearBusters at http://bit.ly/fearbusters and share your story too (it’s free and gifts are awesome). 

Facing Biggest Scares

Facing biggest scares

 

I vividly remember right around this time of year, the first year we came to the US, our new American Croatian friend took us to visit the shopping mall.

It was the first time my daughter and I had the opportunity to visit it and the excitement was in the air regardless of our financial inability to buy anything.

As we were browsing through one of the stores, I was admiring the selection of winter jackets presented. Next to me my daughter was checking colorful scarfs and gloves, while our friend chatted with the store clerk.

Couple minutes into it, the one moment it took for me to take the jacket off the hanger, I lost sight of my daughter. Needless to say, the panic that arose within was claiming my breath and potentially my life.

 

Frantically turning around, I loudly asked my friend in a panicked voice if my girl is with her. She was not.

I did not speak English at that time so my friend started asking the store clerks and we all started checking the spaces between fluffy coats and fixtures. The store was luckily not huge and we were able to quickly assess it and rush toward the door, realizing my girl is not to be found inside.

 

All the horror possibilities running amok in my mind were blood chilling, jaw and fist clenching.

Like many times during the Bosnian war, while we were still at home in the seized capital city, my body thankfully knew how to run and laser screen surroundings at the same time.

The rush of war memories swiftly entered my awareness. We did not endure war, come half way across the world, leave our home and families behind to now go through this!
A particular memory of running to the bomb shelter one evening, flash-blasted in my mind. I saw it in a split moment like I was seeing the whole movie at once.

My four-year-old in my arms, my husband keeping us closer to the wall and shielding us with his body as we were running and grenades were exploding in cannonade nearby.
Even though shelter was not far from our building door, sometimes it seemed we will never reach it. Every moment I could catch a breath I was telling my precious girl we would be ok. And I so strongly, unquestionably believed it even in the scariest of bombings.
I so needed such unwavering faith in that moment and this God sent memory lit the faith fire in my heart.  

As I stormed out into the front of the store, I saw her. A few steps on the walkway across the store entrance, hands and nose on the fiberglass fence, my now a second grader, was standing alone looking down to the lower level shops and the crowd.

I could not get my voice to say a word, my throat tightened. Fear and relief colliding in my body almost knocked me down. Pushing tears back, I hugged her thanking God for such beautiful outcome.
Hugging my girl tightly, tears rolling, breath catching, I accepted a new scar on my heart. This immense scare added yet another deep layer of knowing the fear and pain the parents (including mine) who lost their kid(s) had to face, parents who were not as lucky as I was at that moment.
Besides illnesses, car accidents, various damaging practices, events our kids are subjected to, the violence and crimes perpetrated against children are something I have many difficulties wrapping my mind around.

Aren’t kids our highest joy? Aren’t they what we live for? As the new love and life creation, aren’t they the most precious we are capable of creating?

Every year in the US alone, there are thousands of children of any age violated, damaged, abducted, tortured and abused without the slightest chances to understand what is happening to them, even less to protect themselves or do anything about it.

Some may possibly think –Those people or parents don’t deserve kids in a first place. They deserve anything that comes their way. They are punished and should be. Those kids got themselves in trouble because they didn’t obey or listen… Our kids are ok. We can’t do anything about it….. Really?

A wise person said: In the information age, ignorance is a choice. We have no luxury of choosing ignorance, of not knowing, even less of not acting.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when we face our self and are forced to admit if we turned the head and closed our eyes to the crimes. We have it in our DNA to know right from wrong. The mere ability to survive, live or ignore the wrong does not make it right.

Human trafficking is a modern day slavery, multi-billion dollars criminal industry. It is stripping of freedom and dignity over 20 million human beings through forced commercial sex and labor. Horror stories of exploitation, abuse, organ harvesting, ritual children sacrificing… are unfortunately not news anymore.

Can we humans go any lower? Let’s work together on shining light on such darkness and uplifting those who may never see it without your help.

 

You can make a huge, huge difference, and here is how:

To raise awareness and support efforts of freeing children and youth from human and especially sex trafficking, I have recently published a book Messages in Purple – A Journal for Those Who Dare.

The proceeds, even though it says 10% on the back cover, I am giving all proceeds to the efforts of freeing children from sex trafficking.

You can purchase it for yourself, or you can buy the book for the rescued child to help them heal through journaling, gifting in that way a gift that keeps on giving.

Thank you for whichever way you choose to give and support this mission.

You can message me with any question and to inquire about direct purchase.

 

40 things

40 things to help you navigate and overcome holiday season’s blues and overwhelm

This year holiday season for many may have started on both extreme ends of the human emotional range due to personal and/or worldly affairs.

For me personally, as much as I am usually joyful about holiday cheer and minded about worldly events, loss of another close family member a few days ago, colored my holidays yet another year with sadness, grieving and remembering all those that transitioned at this time previous years.
Many are moments when memories come abruptly and surface asking for deeper understanding, meaning, and most importantly healing and releasing.

Sometimes they do not leave unless we cry them out, or wallow for a while. Sometimes they are released on their own while we change focus, activity and/or physical place.

I know I am not alone and if you or someone you know is feeling similar, here are 40 things that had helped me both in the past and nowadays. Some of these are even on medical doctors’ approved lists so if you want to check with your med.doc., please do.

Keep the list somewhere handy and pick from it when you need it. To pick one thing to do each day (not necessarily in the order written) or repeat one as long as it works for you, would be a common sense approach, at least in my experience.

 

  1. Take a mental day/time off
  2. Move your body in any way you love, your hips will do the trick 🙂
  3. Find and wear something that makes you feel great
  4. Read something light or funny (not news for sure…lol)
  5. Listen to music you enjoy
  6. Watch a funny movie
  7. Call a trusted friend to talk
  8. Listen to someone else
  9. Help someone with something (project, cleaning, etc)
  10. Use spiritual resources you are comfortable with
  11. Get outside for fresh air and sunshine
  12. Sit or work by the window
  13. Get spectrum light bulbs
  14. Take a long, slow, aromatic hot bath or shower
  15. Treat yourself
  16. Eliminate sugar, caffeine, and junk food
  17. Get emotional support from a family member
  18. Do some fun activity with someone you enjoy
  19. Cuddle with your loved one
  20. Spend time with your or friend’s pet
  21. Visit pet store
  22. Use known and tested cognitive therapy techniques to get out of negative thought patterns
  23. Talk or soc. media chat with understanding non-judgmental people for as long as you need
  24. Get a manicure, pedicure or massage
  25. Take a walk in the park, or on the beach
  26. Play your favorite instrument
  27. Pray
  28. Go to a museum or somewhere in town where you haven’t been before
  29. Go to a bookstore and browse
  30. Journal
  31. Play games
  32. Explore your local library
  33. Color in a coloring book
  34. Paint a picture
  35. Pick dandelions or look for a four leaves clover
  36. Hug and tell your favorite stuffed animal or doll all your feelings
  37. Build with blocks or Legos
  38. Have an empowering conversation with your higher self in the mirror
  39. Take a nap
  40. Call a hotline if in crisis that seems impossible to overcome

 

I am sharing these 40 things in case you are not feeling your best to encourage you to consciously choose to feel better. Definitely not to replace yuor doctor or a health professional’s advice or treatment.

Refocusing troubled mind can help navigate the season which contrasts in its purpose and our inner emotional state for so many.

No matter what, if you feel down and need professional help, please call a hotline or 911.

 

You deserve the best life has to bring to you and remember – holidays pass too. Focus on living one day at a time, one moment in a day, for that very moment is all we ever have and each and every one of us deserves to feel the best we can.

Since it may often be easier said than done, if you ever want to talk about things I can help you with, message me and I’ll be happy to.

Dr. B

Outcomes from Above

Outcomes from Above

 

Was any of the holidays seasons in your life less than joyful? Did some of them bring you a loss of a loved one? Did some see you slipped on that slippery slope of worry, anxiety and “analysis paralysis” state of mind?

Yes?

You certainly know then how powerless feels. You know sleepless nights and dreadful days.

Unlike me, I hope you will never know war moments when you meet God and pray for the life of your child, your loved ones, your own.

Unlike me, I hope you won’t know financial challenges and how small and inadequate they make you feel.

Unlike me, I hope you won’t know a great pain, many lows, many failures. 

I do hope you do know there are solutions, outcomes and moments that are way better, more joyful, happier and more fulfilling than you could ever imagine or ask for.

I call them Outcomes from Above. 

Whatever you are praying for right now, I want you to trust there is an Outcome from Above for you too. And is better that you can even hold in your imagination right now. 

Because we can’t outdo God, I want you to know:

  • You are not alone.
  • You are where you need to be in order to proceed.
  • If you are feeling lost in any way, stop and ask for directions.

You heard it already, I know. Even so, it bears repeating.

 

1.  You are not alone

Truly, you are never alone, not in your valleys, not on your peaks, no matter how it may appear.

Human experiences, however unique, are all similar in so many ways – one may say the same organisms exposed to similar factors react similarly.

We are all in this together. We go through this life carrying lessons to learn and since we see our self as different than others, we feel alone and lonely, not seeing that the feeling of isolation itself is a lesson, a golden opportunity to learn.

No, you are never ever alone. The power that created you also sustains you and progresses you.

The feeling of isolation is an illusion, a mesmerizing trick of the mind trying to keep you “safe” and “frozen” perpetuating familiar. The moment you realize it as an illusion, it dissolves and awareness takes its’ place.

With the awareness, you think differently, act differently and experience better feelings and outcomes. Tony Robbins rightly says “As humans, we do everything to change how we feel.”

You are absolutely never alone regardless of the lesson you are to learn at this point in your life.

 

2. You are where you need to be in order to proceed

Wherever you are right now physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc., you are exactly where you need to be, to experience, to learn and to solve your lesson or issues.

Everything you went through in your life so far has accumulatively prepared you for what’s coming next.

Either consciously or subconsciously we create our circumstances, they are the products of our state of mind we held at some point in time. The sooner we accept it, the sooner we can take responsibility for adjusting it.

We create as we go and more consciously we design what we want to create, less we will have to disagree with what is showing up in our lives as a result.

 

3. Stop and ask for directions

Even though it may be hard, really, stop and ask for directions. 
I myself have had a false idea so many times that I am supposed to know answers to every problem, situation or challenge I face for myself, my family, friends, clients.


While I am a great problem solver, I become one because I asked, researched, learned from those that went before me and with me.

What would be the point if we know it all? How would we learn to search? To choose? To interact?

Make sure to ask on both physical – check with other humans, and spiritual level – ask Divine, Spirit, God, (however you understand and call the omnipotent, omnipresent universal life-giving energy), to direct you to the next step – for yours and other’s highest good.

Your Outcomes from Above may be closer than you think.

Dr. B

 

Who is Grading Your Life Essay?

Who is Grading Your Life Essay?

Too quiet, too serious for her age, the girl extended her arm to receive a paper from the teacher. Last week’s essays are graded and the results are in.

 

One look at the paper and her face lit up and then froze in a millisecond.

Her essay was graded with the highest grade 5, but her handwriting received the lowest grade, a 1.

 

Deep discomfort, fear, and shame found a firm place in her mind.

 

How will I ever give this to my parents for their signature? What will they say, what will they do to me? What kind of punishment will come? How will I walk on these streets knowing I got a failing grade in school?

 

With so many questions erupting in her mind and no answers, the girl made it back home. Pretending all is well; she quietly went to her room, sat on the floor and was going through her notebook once again.

 

Staring at the sharp number 1, perhaps angrily written, she was falling even deeper into the abyss of shame, guilt, and the thoughts of the disappointment that she is causing to her parents.

 

Huge, quiet, desperate tears rolling down the young girl’s cheeks were meeting her sealed lips. The saltiness felt at once brought, even more, desolation.

 

Not knowing how or why, her little hand all of a sudden ripped the paper up and slide it under the sofa bed. Pushing it as far as possible into the dark under the sofa felt somewhat liberating. No one will see you there, no one will know you are there – thought the little girl.

 

That innocent act of hiding the source of her pain, helped to stop the tears, yet she knew the paper is there and sooner or later she will have to tell mom and dad.

 

She was scared. Worse than any punishment she knew she may have to listen to dad’s lecture – a mix of harsh words and tough love, even yelling perhaps. She could not stand anyone yelling, not at her, not at anyone else. She already knew very well how words can hurt even when not yelled. Yelling for sure makes them even worse.

 

Trying to postpone the unavoidable, she went on to write and write and write by hand as much as possible in order to improve her handwriting.

Unfortunately, with no success. When the following week the teacher graded her next essay in the same way – she could not hide it any longer.

 

Bringing home another bad grade for handwriting felt so devastating that she reached for the hidden one under the sofa and brought it out to compare the two.

 

The same, red judgments in the shape of the number 1 were screaming from the paper – “you are a bad girl, look how sloppy you are.”

 

Feeling tears moistening her eyes again, the girl started revolting inside, revolting against the teacher, against the grade for handwriting, against all that is forced upon her, and all the other kids in school.

 

That’s not right! – she thought, my essay is excellent, my other grades are excellent and still my handwriting is not good enough for a satisfactory grade. The teacher hates me; she is beating us anyway, my palms still tingle from her ruler…

 

The door opened at that moment and brought both light and her mom into the room. The girl sitting on the floor with her back against the sofa shamefully stretched her arm and gave her mom both the notebook and the older, torn out page.

 

What is that? – asked mom.

 

You need to sign that you saw it, my essay is excellent, I failed at handwriting. I hid the first one under the sofa last week – that’s why it’s torn out, admitted the girl.

 

You know you should not be hiding it. I taught you better than that. And you know what, these excellent grades are more important anyway, said her mom and took the pen and signed both grades.

 

A couple of years later in middle school and with different teachers, this girl had the best handwriting in the class. She gets many compliments for it even today.

 

It took her some serious inner work to understand how and why it was happening as it was.

 

 

Who is writing your story?

It took many years of growing, many experiences and the journey of life to come to point of telling this story and openly asking you, the reader:

 

  • What is your bad grade story?
  • Who did you give authority to grade you on anything or everything, and is the childhood teacher still running your show?
  • How many times have you felt shameful and guilty and worthless because of someone else’s perception of you, your work, your expression?
  • How badly do you grade yourself – on your own lot in life, your achievements, your relationship, your income?
  • How badly, deeply, darkly do you hide your own self under the sofa bed of life repeating in your mind how unworthy and undeserving you are?
  • How empty do you feel in your worldly success, knowing the joy and zest for life you once felt is missing?
  • For how long will you let those forces take the better of you?

 

I truly hope you will not wait any longer before you step up and once and for all find the willingness and the strength to allow the door to open to let the light of the truth in.

 

Isn’t it your time to claim the highest grades in your own eyes?

 

The girl from the story is today on a mission to help people bridge the gap between their reality and their innate capacity for living a lasting peace, true love, joy of creation and success in all aspects of their life.

 

She is on a quest to eliminate the violence, abuse and self-abuse so prevalent in our daily lives to the point that the cruelest violence became a part of the daily language worldwide and even worse – it became comfortable, acceptable and even enjoyable for so many. And that is no longer acceptable or tolerable to this girl. Hopefully to you too.

 

If you are ready to take the leap into learning more, comment here or click on the live widget and let’s talk.

How Integrating Feminine & Masculine Leads to Business Success

Carolin Hauser – Carson, German trained Naturopathic Doctor, Humanistic Psychotherapist, and Family Constellations Facilitator, is the author of the Award winning book Blossom – Your Seven Steps Journey to Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse and Creating Your Dream Life! 

She is an internationally-recognized speaker and teacher on the subjects of women’s empowerment, spirituality, relationships and emotional healing, and for almost a decade she combines her knowledge about energetic healing and conscious co-creation to help women connect to their core desires that spur truly fulfilling careers, amazing contributions, and abundance in the areas wealth and relationships.

Her work is based on the intersection of where the human body and experience meets past–and even ancestral–trauma, and shows how each individual’s authentic and true self is the source of one’s own good – a place of unlimited abundance, creativity, courage, and joyful existence.

 

Elevated Money Conversations

In this interview we explore money as an energy and how it relates to our consciousness.

Yanna Loam is an Interdimensional Healer, hypnotist and seminar leader with twenty years’ experience as a holistic wellness practitioner. Her purpose is to support others in powerfully fulfilling their Divine Purposes, creating and prospering in their lives’ Great Work. She currently serves an international clientele with live and virtual healing intensives for both individuals and groups. For more information, visit www.yannaloam.com 

From Disrespect to Authentic Family Communication

 

Danica Trebel, founder of Danica Trebel, Life Coach, knows first-hand the power of the spoken and unspoken word.
It was through her own personal and professional experiences that she was led to this place of healing, restoration and passion to help others.
She is an expert in helping people live their lives to the fullest through faith, communication and vulnerability shifting disrespect into authentic communication.
Where there was once struggle there is now integrity, support, honesty and peace of mind.

Discovering Your Why and the Transformation From Within

 

As a husband of over 10 years, father of 2 boys (ages 6 and 4), an Athletic Trainer and Certified Nutritionist, entrepreneur, former sports magazine contributor, speaker, mentor and visionary facilitator,
Frank is a stay at home dad and works from home specializing in training Professional and Olympic athletes.

For the past 6 years, he is in a constant passionate journey of upgrading his studies in Integrative nutritional science for a healthier society addressing the top global health concerns with the latest documented science.

Facing the Fear of the Unknown

 

Lisa Marie Pepe, M.A.T., MA, LMT, CWC, is The Confidence & Online Visibility Coach for Heart-Centered Women Entrepreneurs, a Business Mentor, Inspirational Author, and Motivational Speaker.

As the Owner and Founder of Positive Transformation Life Coaching, Lisa Marie empowers heart-centered women entrepreneurs to fully embrace their unique gifts and talents by providing them with the skills they need to develop rock-solid confidence, become vibrantly visible online, thrive in business, and create the life they most desire.